“Little But Often”
4 minute read
My parents have had many influences on me, and the older I get the more this becomes clear.
But you know how the story goes. When we’re younger we refuse to believe that we’re anything like our mums and dads.
No way. Absolutely not.
But as the years clock up and time passes by, we catch ourselves doing things and saying things that – shock, horror – make us sound just like our parents.
When this happens for the first time, we’re absolutely aghast. We rush to the bathroom mirror and look at ourselves with pure indignation; we might even feel a little bit nauseous.
Well that’s it Clive…it finally happened…you’ve become your dad! You even have grey in your beard…where’s the Just For Men?
The second time is equally as shocking.
But once we reach the three hundred and ninety-ninth time, we just shrug our shoulders, accept defeat, and then go back to moaning about how the kids of today aren’t as respectful as when we were younger.
With time, experience, and the inevitable maturity that follows, we begin to see that it’s not really all that bad. And ultimately, we can go full circle; embracing the influence that we once fought against, before finally showing our parents the gratitude they deserve for having instilled such character within us (1).
I remember being at my mum and dad’s house a number of years ago and having a casual conversation with them about home maintenance.
I felt they were the ideal people to ask because their home is never anything short of immaculate. It’s always freshly painted, there’s never any dirty dishes or clutter lying around, there’s a place for everything, and the garden is like something out of a magazine.
When I asked them how they managed to do this they replied with three very simple words.
“Little, but often…”
I understood the logic, but I never thought it was practical. I’ve always been one of those busy people in which there’s never enough hours in the day, and I’d always have a tendency to let things get out of hand.
I’d go weeks without cleaning the bathroom. I’d allow clutter to build. And I’d let the garden go wild and become overgrown with weeds. Even when friends visited, I’d fail to enjoy the moment because I’d feel too distracted by the work that needed to be done.
And it was at this point that I’d begin to feel somewhat ashamed, and so I’d end up blanking off a day in my diary so that I could go hell-for-leather in an attempt to get all my chores done. Ultimately my home would be spotless, but the efforts that it took felt enormous.
The unsurprising result was that home maintenance didn’t feel like fun for me. In fact, it became a pain in the arse.
Since buying my own home my attitude has changed significantly and my game has improved tenfold, yet I still have a tendency to neglect a few things when I’m really busy.
It’s frustrating to be trying so hard yet to not be getting to where I need to be.
Am I doing too little? Or am I just not doing it often enough?
A few days ago, I visited my folks for dinner.
I walked in the house, hugged my mum, and left her inside cooking dinner while I went out to the garden to chat with my dad.
As I sat on the garden wall talking to him, he continued to move slowly around the garden. He’d stop and say a few words to me, and then turn back around and start walking again.
Moments later he crouched down and pulled up a couple of weeds, spoke a few more words, and then began walking again. Soon after he reached one of the trees and started pruning a few straggly bits from the branches.
And then he walked over to me, said a few more words, and then continued past me until he reached the composting area and discarded the weeds and straggly tree-bits.
The effort was so relaxed and steady that it was barely noticeable, but he continued this for the entire time that we talked.
After walking back into the house, I returned to the kitchen and sat down to talk with my mum. And every so often, while chatting, she’d pick up a cloth and wipe down the sink, the work surface, and the tops of the tiles.
We’d talk some more, then she’d re-organise a few things in the fridge, throw out a few items, and then put things back into their rightful places.
Again, just like my dad in the garden, the effort was barely noticeable.
And that’s when it hit me.
Little, but often.
The continued small efforts that accumulate into massive results.
And before you speculate as to whether they both have some kind of nervous tick that means they have to keep their hands busy, they don’t. Because after moving into the dining room for dinner, we sat and talked for the longest time, fully engaged, and being completely in the moment.
There was no need to feel distracted, because the work was already done.
This very same principle can be applied to almost any area our lives in which we wish to excel.
Whether we’re talking about maintaining happy and healthy relationships, advancing in our careers, or improving the looks of our bodies; all of this can be achieved by taking the little-but-often approach.
Or to phrase it a little differently, we need to be consistent. (2)
Happy and healthy relationships are built upon a thousand little gestures and by always showing up.
Careers are advanced by applying forward momentum every single day.
And our bodies become healthy and take shape through our day-to-day actions and decisions.
It’s no good neglecting everything for a long period of time and then applying a massive amount of effort every once in a while. This feels disingenuous, and it also feels like hard work.
Instead, the little-but-often approach makes big goals feel achievable. It also helps new habits to form, which in turn makes the process feel natural.
And when consistent effort becomes natural, it means that achieving our goals becomes a part of who we are.
Little, but often.
FOOTNOTES
(1) This is obviously a generalisation and I appreciate that this isn’t going to be the same for everybody. Families can be difficult and the dynamics complicated, so I fully respect that not everybody will agree with this statement and it won’t be relevant in all instances.
(2) This applies to me too. Because it’s no good for me to be turning up with an article once every six months and then falling off the face of the earth in-between. Instead, barring a genuine reason I now open up my laptop and aim to write for a minimum period of time each day.
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Do you have any thoughts or opinions on anything you’ve just read? How does this apply to your own life? Do you manage to stay on top of all your jobs? Or do you let things get out of hand and then face it all as one huge mammoth task? Do you have any productivity techniques that you’d like to share with the rest of us? Or do you perhaps need a little help in this regard? Do you have any other related thoughts about this article that you’d like to share with other readers? Or do you have any questions of your own to ask that either myself or my readers can give an opinion on? Please feel free to leave a comment below and we’ll begin a conversation.
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This article really made me smile. So glad we’ve been able to influence you & hope that by passing it on to others they get to become influenced as well.
You have most certainly had your influences, and it is greatly appreciated. 🙂
Little but often. 3 very powerful and wise words.
Great article. One to make you stop and think.
You are the product of your parents and having met them, I can see why you have turned out to be a fine young (!) man.
Thanks buddy, that’s such an awesome thing to say. I really appreciate it, as I’m sure my folks do too. Looking forward to catching up with you again soon. 🙂
This just might become my new mantra: little but often. Very wise advice & I shall take it to heart. Whether it is writing or home & garden chores or maintaining healthy relationships, putting in a little effort on a consistent basis is key. Thank you!
You’re welcome. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. 🙂
Welcome back , Elliot, You were truly missed . It’s such a delight to read you again. 🙂
‘Little and often’ is a motto that I think is timeless and still relevant in our fast-paced world of quick wins. I used to love chasing my big dreams, but I quickly realised that while small goals aren’t so impressive to talk about, it’s much easier to stick with them and see real results.
I believe it’s better to set small goals than just big ones, because your brain rewards you with dopamine when you achieve each one.
It’s always a pleasure to read your articles.
PS: Oh yes. And the older I get, the more like my mother I become. I open my mouth and my mother comes out 😀
Thank you for reading and commenting, Katy. And the older I get, the more I hear other people also saying exactly what you’ve said just there. It’s inevitable that elements of our parents come across in our own personalities. And I’m glad you appreciate the little-but-often motto, which really is one of the simplest yet most effective productivity tactics that there is. For all the so called ‘hacks’ out there, nothing beats consistent effort.
Elliot 🙂