“Ignore Other People and Listen Only To Yourself”
4 minute read
If we were to build each other up rather than tear each other down, don’t you think the world would be a much better place?
Because what I find amazing when I look around and observe people that are trying to better themselves, what I often see is that they’re surrounded by people who try their damnedest to stop them.
And what’s worse is that I don’t think they even realise they’re doing it.
How many times have you seen somebody that desperately wants to improve the quality of their lives, to step out of their comfort zone, and to follow a pursuit or passion, but then right at the moment where all they need is to receive a few words of encouragement from those around them, what they actually get is sarcasm, mockery and negativity?
Bizarrely, it can very often be their closest friends and even their families that fail to give them the support that they need.
It is quite possible that this negativity can come from a place of good intention and that maybe they want to protect that person. Maybe they’re trying to help them to avoid sticking their heads up high above the crowd so that they don’t get their heads blown off, metaphorically speaking.
They keep them huddled up with the majority, to ensure they blend in, and to hold them down in a place of safety along with everybody else.
It can also come from a place of selfishness and jealousy.
Because when these people see their friends taking steps towards their dreams, they are then reminded of the fact that they’ve not followed their own paths and that they’ve let their own dreams slip away.
The ambition that they’re now witnessing only serves to highlight their own weaknesses, their own lack of action, and it reminds them of all that they could have been.
But instead of taking their friends ambition as a reminder that they too should breathe new life into their own hopes and aspirations, instead they see this as a threat and do all that they can to shut it down.
If there is no reminder, then it cannot be real.
Sadly, if the person who is wishing to move forwards in life does not yet have the strength to see through what is happening, they buy into what their friends and family tell them. Why do they do this? Because they believe that their family knows best, they believe that their friends have their best intentions at heart.
Before you know it, their dreams, their goals, and the changes that they wished to make have become a forgotten memory, like a small town disappearing in your rear view mirror.
We witness these discreet but crushing acts all of the time, in day-to-day life, and one of the most classic examples is when people are desperate to lose weight and get in better shape.
There is usually a period of intense unhappiness and even a degree of self-loathing that precedes this person’s decision to finally take action, but even once the decision has been made, the self-image issues often leave that person with low self esteem and without any confidence. As a result, it can be easy to become disillusioned. The work that lies ahead of them can feel daunting, and the journey that they’re about to begin can feel endless, with absolutely no horizon in sight.
One step at a time kiddo – you’ll get there
This person needs support and encouragement.
But then we see people around them that are passing around the doughnuts, and even though they may stand their ground at first and say…
“No thank you, I’m trying to be good.”
…they get pushed and prodded and get told to treat themselves. There is no interest shown in their ambitions, they’re not encouraged to get to the gym, the bad food isn’t removed from in front of them, and instead they get mocked and teased and get pushed until their will power is crushed. And then they cave in and reach for the food.
Sadly, this scenario often plays out because the person that is offering those doughnuts wants to feel better about their own weaknesses. They believe that if everybody else eats shit, then it means they’re justified in the shit that they eat too.
They do all they can to wipe out anything that highlights their own failings, and they drag everybody else down with them.
Jim Rohn once said that we are the average of the five people that we surround ourselves with, so maybe what we actually need to do is to remove those people from our lives; like cutting away the mouldy parts from a beautiful block of cheese.
Cut them off, discard them, and surround ourselves only with the good.
Stay strong and ignore the doubters. Listen to that voice inside yourself, and listen ONLY to that; obsess with it, write the words down, focus on it and follow your path. Even if it means being alone, then be alone, because if you stay true to what you really want in life then you will soon attract a fresh crowd of like-minded people. You will form your own network and support group without even having to try.
Mark Twain once said that…
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority then it’s time to pause and reflect”
…and I believe in that whole-heartedly.
Don’t aspire to go with the crowd. Walk alone if you must.
Stand alone – but perhaps not in the middle of a road
So to every single person that wants to follow a dream but is surrounded by negativity, I speak these words directly to you.
No matter what it is that you want to do; whether it’s to get fit, lose weight, write a novel, create a blog, travel the world, climb a mountain, start a business, run a marathon, or get into the ring and fight even though you’ve never thrown a punch in your life.
Whatever the hell it is that YOU want to do with your life, whatever the hell it is that you want to achieve, whatever it is that the voice inside of you is screaming out, ignore those people that try to tear you down and distract you from your dreams.
Trust me, when you reach that end goal, whether you are victorious in result or purely in a moral sense, you will see right through those people who once stood in your way.
And they will look back, they will feel that sting, and they will owe you the biggest fucking apology of their lives.
Did this article resonate with you and do you know of anybody that could benefit from reading it? If so then please do feel free to share this article wherever you can.
Do you have any thoughts or opinions on this subject? Have you ever experienced people that tried to hold you back? And have you ever had to find the strength to stand alone? Do you have any advice of your own to share with the readers? Or do you have any questions of your own to ask that either myself or my readers can share an opinion on? Then please feel free to leave a comment below and we’ll begin a conversation.
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“5 Simple Life Hacks (For a Better You)”
“What’s Stopping You From Starting?”
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Hey Elliot, I hope you are more than fine! Thank you for this ever relevant and inspiring article. I think it is so important to love yourself. Forgiving yourself is even more important because if you forgive yourself your freeing yourself of any negative emotion you have that will effect your future. I know that there are a lot of pressure coming from society, we always try to show the best face we can, even tho we feel like crap, something you have to know ist that you are never going to please the world, as long as you are happy with yourself you are winning! Remember the 90´s En Vogue song “Free your mind, the rest will follow?” It will. Be good to yourself. And guess what” if other people aren´t good to you, you will still have your old standby who is ALWAYS good to you: YOU. Pretty much what matters most at the end of the day. The rest will follow. Thanks for your enlightening and encouraging words. I am sending you a hug. I hope you can feel it. 🙂 Thankfully we have sites like this which share inspiring words when we feel down or are being too hard on ourselves.
Muchísimas gracias!
Katy
Hi Katy. Thank you for your comment and I apologise for taking so long to respond. Yes I do remember that song and I always did like those lyrics as they are so true. If we manage to free our mind of any clutter and the negative self talk that ultimately holds us back, then we are free to be whatever we want to be and to believe whatever we want to believe. It’s easier said than done, but it is definitely possible.
I believe whole-heartedly that we must get our own lives in order and to get our ourselves into our best possible position, and this is an absolute priority, because we cannot truly help other people or be our best selves until we’ve done that. And like you say, the only person that is ever guaranteed to be there for you, is you. So do whatever it takes to become your own best friend and your own best advocate. Some people may interpret this as being selfish, but how is it selfish if ultimately everybody benefits?
Have a great day my friend,
Elliot